Note: It was difficult for me to decide if I wanted to publish this or not. Had to edited certain parts, even. But what eventually led me to just go for it was the thought of my future self telling my present self, “At one point in your life, you loved and worked and shared life with these amazing people doing crazy things that you all knew only God could pull off. Don’t forget this time. Don’t forget these people. May He complete the work that He started in all of us.”
Today should’ve been the beginning of a four-day major event at the office.
I could only imagine how it would be run: the directors piling in from different parts of the country, the program cues running, the documentation team scattering to capture moments of the event, the tech team flashing the slides and graphics, the music team leading the participants to a time of worship, and our speaker delivering a message that he has prayed and thought about for months.
But right now, I am at home and I could only imagine what this event would have been because yesterday, Taal volcano started spewing ash.
Change changes us. Either for better or for worse.
I found myself in a different part of town yesterday. After days of staying at my mom’s for the holidays, I felt like I needed to take break from my usual routine. It felt so good to just be alone and away for a day. In those few hours, I got the chance to reflect on what took place this past year, and how these changes affected me.
I tried to write about this exact subject last October. I shared my draft, rather awkwardly, to my best friend and told her how I couldn’t seem to find a redemptive slant just yet. Her reply brought me to tears in the middle of my morning commute, “Maybe we will find it together.”
I sit at the dining table, in that familiar armchair seat that faces boxes upon boxes of cereal, snacks, and once-edible things that are probably expired by now. The electric fan beside me bids a faint, soothing humming sound. My personal laptop from 2013 hardly works, so I am forced to use my sisters’ laptop tonight.
I never would have thought I’d ever say this, but here it goes—I’m home for the holidays.