A week ago, I posed the question: Where do you start in starting over? I wrote in my last entry that a good place to start would be, “I’m sorry.” Apologizing and repenting of one’s own wrongdoing is tough, but there’s no way to solve a problem if we don’t even recognize the problem to begin with.
You know what repentance is best paired with?
If you’ve already said “I’m sorry,” you can now say, “I’m all yours.”
If repentance is admitting that you’ve made a mistake, you’re not in control, and you’re the cause of this mess, humility points to God and says that He can forgive our mistakes, He is in control, and He can fix the mess we’ve made and make it new. This isn’t anything new to Him; this is exactly what He did when He died for you on that cross thousands of years ago.
The beautiful thing about humility is that it does the one thing our otherwise selfish and prideful minds cannot stand to do—surrender to God. It’s looking at our brokenness, giving it to God, and telling Him, “Hey, I can’t do this. I’m tired of trying to do this on my own. I’ve tried everything and none of them work. I can’t fix myself. Only You can fix me.”
Maybe this is you. Maybe you’re still wrestling with God’s plans. Maybe you can’t start over because while you’ve admitted your mistake/s, you have yet to surrender your plans to God. Even funnier—maybe you still think you’re “in control”.
Or maybe you’re scared. Maybe you think that your plans will be ruined when you surrender them to God. Maybe you think that your life will be out of control when He steps into the picture. Maybe you think that He won’t give you what you want, and obedience will just be a chore and duty for the rest of your life.
I have to admit that surrendering and trusting God is still one of the major things that God is working in my life. I’m an impatient person who likes to see instant and good results. But what I found in the times when I stopped caring about what I wanted (which was hard), what people would think (also hard), or what I thought to be the “best” option (I gave up on overthinking and overanalyzing at this point)—was godliness with contentment.
The verse 1 Timothy 6:6 tells us that “godliness with contentment is great gain.” Godliness means pursuing holiness in everything you do and everything you are. Contentment means being content with where God has placed you. Putting these together, pursuing to please God while being content with where He’s placed us gives us access to all other things we can only gain from—joy (Psalm 16:11), strength (Nehemiah 8:10), and peace (Philippians 4:7).
Surrendering will only makes sense when we know who we are surrendering to.
If we surrender ourselves to an indecisive and stupid person, then we cannot be assured that he will provide us with the best course of action. If we surrender ourselves to a dictator, then we cannot be assured that our best interests will be his main consideration.
But what sets God apart is that He is all knowing, all loving, and all ours—if we let Him. And when we surrender ourselves with all humility and in light of who He is, He will always come through for us in the end.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.